Sunday, October 29, 2017

New Portable Weirdness Goodies From Asheville GL & W

Rocks from the GL & W Asheville show and a little schwag from Cherry Tree Beads! FInally got to go by their brick & mortar after about four years of being in Asheville at the wrong time of day. Great staff, awesome inventory, prices that let you be bad and still be good ;0)

Gorgeous hematoid quartz megapebbles

Calcite & chloride included quartz
Honking huge calcite & chloride included quartz - Imma name it Ralph

Ocean jasper - leetle quartz fellers peeking out of the crevice of the big one ;0)
Larimar roughish beads - stay tuned for finished projects

Where else am I gonna find jellyfish beads?

Meme A Day-ish, or #Resisting Positivly Crabby Karma

Because Made Of Win ;0)

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Shoulda Wooda Coulda Shop Safety Rules

Shoulda Wooda Coulda Class Shop Safety
or, “How to leave with the same number of fingers, toes, and eyeballs you came in with”

Personal Stuff:
Safety glasses: these are your buddies whenever you’re using anything that throws off particles or sparks that can get in your eyes. That would be most power tools, especially sanders, grinder and buffer wheels, and saws. If you have regular glasses they can serve the same purpose if they give you enough cover, but you may want to consider that the average pair of glasses may be damaged or shatter if something big enough or fast enough hits them.

Breathing masks/respirators: you’re gonna want to have one of these on when you’re doing anything that creates a good amount of fine particle dust, like sanding or grinding. They’re also a good idea if you have extra tricky respiratory concerns or you’re particularly susceptible to strong smells or fumes.

Ears: ear plugs or other covers that help block really loud, shrill sounds are a good idea when you’re running a hefty number of power tools, especially belt sanders or grinder wheels. Note: using loud, shrill sounds from your phone playlist to block out loud, shrill sounds from tools does not count.

Footwear: sandals, flip flops, or other shoes that don’t cover your whole foot are a bad idea in a shop. Stuff gets dropped, sharp pointy things wind up on the floor, and you’re also likely going to be standing on a hard floor for a good bit of the time. Wear something that gives you good cover and decent support.

Clothes: go for clothes that you’re okay with messing up, and are comfortable but not loose and flappy. Clothes that trail or hang too loosely can get caught by things with blades that spin real fast. The distressed look is a perfectly good fashion statement, but that’s not the recommended way to do it.

Hair & Jewelry: long hair and dangling jewelry and accessories can present the same problem as loose clothes. If your hair is past your shoulders, it’s best to tie it back in a ponytail or stuff it up under a hat, kerchief, scarf, etc. Take off jewelry; yeah, I know, “but my wedding ring!!!!”. But you’re more likely to get to keep the ring and the finger you wear it on if it doesn’t get chewed up by a piece of equipment.

Read the safety information on any chemical you use. If the cautions tell you to wear gloves, a respirator, ventilate the area, etc., go with those recommendations. They came about because somebody went to the Emergency Room after working without doing them.

Don’t use tools if you’re incapacitated. That’s French for “don’t work stoned, plastered, or loopy”. It also means
to be aware of when you’re too tired or sick to be really focused on what you’re doing or if chemical fumes are getting to you.

Tool & Equipment Stuff:
SLOWER IS BETTER. You’re less likely to have a piece get out of control or damage yourself or tools if you take a little extra time with what you’re doing, and you haven’t really saved  time if you mess the project up and have to fix or redo  it.

“Measure twice, cut once” has been a maxim for craftspeople since at least the 16th century for a good reason. That sort of goes hand in hand with that “take a little extra time and get it right on the first go” thing in #5.

Always check the on switch before you plug a power tool in. If you figure this is too fussy, just ask me what a belt sander shaped hole in a window looks like. Also, check any power cords for damage to the insulating cover.

Always make sure any detachable blades, bits, or wheels are attached securely and in decent shape; not missing a bunch of teeth, not warped or bent, not rusty or anything else that might be a problem if the thing starts moving really fast. Not only is it not safe, it’s also bad for the tool.

Make sure any tool with a moving part has stopped moving before you touch it or set it down. DO NOT EVER TRY TO STOP A MOVING BLADE OR BIT WITH YOUR HANDS. I DON’T GIVE A HAIRY RAT’S BUTT IF YOU HAVE REALLY SUPER GREAT GLOVES ON OR YOUR GRAMPA USED TO DO IT ALL THE TIME. DON’T DO IT. If you need to move cut off pieces of material away from a blade, use a stick or tongs that keep your hand away from the blade.

Cut away from your body as much as possible. If you have to handle a large piece of material, get another person to help hold and stabilize it as you cut.

 If a blade is dull, sharpen it or change it out to avoid breakage or having the knife go out of control from using too much force. If you’re using a carving tip, gouge, or razor blade, it’s a good idea to wear a Kevlar glove on your non-carving hand.

Table saws, chop saws, and other power tools can throw off material (the stuff you’re working on) as its cut loose from the main piece. Wear protective gear like safety glasses or a face shield, and be aware as you’re cutting.

If a power tool’s blade, bit, or other moving part gets “in a bind” (caught in the material) stop the tool immediately. Remove the tool from the material, try to see what the problem is, and alter the situation to fix it. This may mean repositioning the material, cutting a different way, changing the blade or bit, or using a hand saw or other tool to get past a knot, a hidden nail, or other obstacle.

Just be smart. Simply paying attention and staying focused on what you’re doing is the #1 thing you can do to prevent accidents and screw ups. Don’t try to eat, drink, vape, text, talk on your phone, take pictures, etc. while you’re working on a piece. If you need to do any of that, stop, put the tool down, and take care of it.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Somebody Needs A Good Kneeing

I refuse to keep having this conversation:

Objector: Kneeling during the anthem is disrespectful! It's a slam at our flag, our country, our military, and the rule of law!

Snooze: How is kneeling disrespectful?

Objector: It's disrespectful! People that do it should be locked up!

Snooze: How is it disrespectful? Are people disrespectful when they kneel in church, or at a gravesite, or when they propose?


Largely because it's not really a conversation, or a call to protect First Amendment rights. It's just parroted gaslighting rhetoric trying to pass bigotry off as an "alternative viewpoint" and any voicing of a diverging opinion as a violation of the Constitution. The First Amendment does not guarantee anyone the right to speak without objection, dissent, or counter point. It also does not guarantee the right to carry forth opinions into actions that take away the rights guaranteed to others by the same document. Scream and rant and gnash your teeth all you want. But you don't get to stop anyone else doing the same. And kneeling quietly is a damned far, far cry from the tantrum I see objectors throwing. Keep insisting that I MUST listen to you without objection though, and you might take a knee that'll annoy you even more.

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Portable Weirdness At Fall NoDa Eclectic Market

 It's back! NoDa Eclectic Marketplace has a new home at Pure Pizza in Plaza Midwood, 1911 Central Ave, Charlotte, NC 28205. Fall shows are every Saturday from 9am to 3 pm, from this weekend till December 16th. Portable Weirdness will be there this coming Saturday, Oct. 7th with a bunch of great artists and craftspeople and a quality farmer's market where you can get your Buy Local game on. Watch this space and my website for additional dates.See ya there!

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Galdrastafur Bling

More goodies that I'll have with me at CNC Pagan Pride Day, coming up September 16-17 2017! Icelandic galdrastafur carved on goat horn, with carnelian, pearl, garnet, amber, and nettle fiber. The running thinking is that this stave is for domestic animal protection. If you've got additional credible data, holler (but go back and check that word "credible" first, k?)  ;0)

411 in case you haven't seen it elsewhere:

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Saturday, September 9, 2017

September 2017 Deer Bone & Antler Knife Bling

New neolithic style ceremonial knives! I'll have these with me at CNC PPD next weekend ;0)

Portable Weirdness At Central NC Pagan Pride Day 2017

The autumn equinox is here again, and so is Central NC Pagan Pride Day! Portable Weirdness will be at CNC PPD Saturday and Sunday, September 16 - 17 2017 with new bling, new rocks and fossils, and new Dead Guys. Author and Hoofed Nuisance Miles Batty will, as usual, be tied to a handy solid object for book signing, questions, and PQTs (puns of questionable taste).



If you head out to the State Fairgrounds like you've done for the last several years, you're gonna be in for some Fail. The festival's new home is Raleigh Optimist Farm in Apex NC, about 20 minutes south of the old spot. Everything else is still pretty much the same bangin' killer time you've come to expect, with harvest rituals, workshops, music, drumming, kids activities, handmade art and crafts, and just hanging out with people that get these:

Along with the theme of harvest time, if you're fed, covered, got a roof and plumbing and electricity and all the good stuff, there are additional ways to put some appreciation for that safety back out into the community. Admission to the event is one (or more than one if you can swing it) non-perishable food or personal hygiene item for local hunger and homeless relief.  You can also put some resources toward wildlife and domestic animal  rescue and welfare through Wake County Animal Center and American Wildlife Refuge.

See you at PPD ;0)

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Shoulda Wooda Coulda Class October 2017

Here we go again! The fall woodworking class is back at our shop again, hopefully this time without any weather getting any ideas about acting up (knocks OSB board). Class fee is $30 per person, and that includes everything except drinks and munchies. If you're an adult participating with a minor, it's $45 for both of you.

The 411 that'll get you through relatively unscathed:

  • Dress smart: wear clothes that can get messed up, no open toe shoes, if you have long hair pull it back out of the way of things that are on fire or spin real fast.
  • There's a fridge, a microwave, and toaster oven available for lunch.
  • If you want to bring your own material or want extras like stones to inset gimme a call beforehand.
  • Some of your project options: staff/walking stick/cane, wand, ogham or rune set, broom, display rack/stand, altar decor - tag me if you have another cool idea.
  • Participants under the age of 17 MUST have a responsible parent or guardian participating with them. Nobody under 12 in the shop.
  • We're going to cover a lot in the first hour of the class, including signing off that you understand and agree to follow the shop safety rules. If you're going to be late because of car trouble, traffic, or other stuff that can't be helped, CALL ME. If you don't already have my cell number, tag me and ask for it. Snooze does not do PST or "Oopsies!". Snooze also does not do Facebook messaging on her phone. CALL ME. If you can't Adult enough to do this, you can't Adult enough for me to trust you with power tools that can send you to the ER.
Can't wait to see what you guys make - see ya in October ;0)

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Rumble Indians - We Will Rock You

So stoked that this project is out, even if it doesn't appear to be showing anywhere in NC/SC yet. If it doesn't get picked up by any local theaters, weeeeeellll, I reckon we'll just have to get the DVD and add it to the FWOMP movie night list, neh?

(Broken Record Alert) Along with all the rest of the reasons it's Made Of Win and about time, it illustrates another reason why Identity Politics and Purity Tests, the majority of cultural appropriation outrage rants, and hereditary guilting just don't wash with me. The Melting Pot is gumbo, not gruel, people.

Friday, August 4, 2017

Nevertheless, She Persisted

Relevant in soooooo many ways right now . . . .

With nods to Rep. Judy Chu (CA-27) for the tweet I tweaked. I wanted the night pic for the image of the statue being a beacon in the dark. Because reasons, reasons, reasons.

Did any of the portion of my ancestors that came here from Ireland, Scotland, and England end their journeys by being greeted by a female colossus, looking out over the ships coming in and holding high a torch like a lighthouse, guiding people to a safe harbor? Like other refugees from the injustice, corruption, and catastrophes that drove various European immigrations, did they hope this 300 foot goddess borrowed from Rome was proof that the ideals of liberty and freedom, and the promise that "things are different in America", were real?

It's pretty likely that at least one did, and a good possibility for another. She may not have been the first welcoming sight the others saw but the hope she represented was still there. Even for the ones who came here as "criminals", there was the notion that here was a place where hard work would count for more than family lineage, ethnic heritage, inheritances, and moldy grudges and prejudices. Ever since Europe found out the New World was a thing, people very much like them have been coming here for the same reasons.

Humans can, of course, still be bigoted, petty, shallow, small minded rat bastards no matter where you go. A lot of those immigrants didn't include my other ancestors, or other immigrants, in that dream at all. The more important point was that the whole ideal was seen as worth trying for at all by enough people who didn't see Rat Bastardy as a solid major life goal. That there were people that wanted there to be somewhere where "things are different".

I'm not willing to hand that over to a bunch of spoiled brat thugs who are packaging Exceptionalism, Manifest Destiny, Nationalism, and Fascism dressed up as Populism as patriotic virtues, and normalizing bigoted spin. Especially not the little rat bastards that have instructed me that "you lost, get over it" applies on more than one level and that my failure to dance to their tune should preclude my citizenship. Lady Liberty and I are both immigrants in one way or another, and I'm in better company being unwelcome with The Mother of Exiles than being welcomed by poor specimens like them.

Monday, July 24, 2017

New Runes Sets & Neolithic Knives From Portable Weirdness

Got new goodies! I'll have them at Morgantown Pagan Pride Day this upcoming Sunday, July 30th for your perusal and nommification ;0)

Yeah, I know they're oriented wrong. Yeah, I did look on 37.4 forums to see what I was fubaring up. Yeah, I tried 6.72 of the solutions. I can choose to keep screwing around with it or I can go make more cool shit. Guess which one Imma do ;0)


Portable Weirdness At Morgantown Pagan Pride Day

Portable Weirdness will be at Morgantown Pagan Pride Day in West Virginia Sunday, July 30, with new bling, the usual suspects, and The Dead Guys. Miles Batty will be stapled to a convenient table for questions, book signing, and really, really bad puns.



Ginger Ackley, Mama Gina, Burning Sage are cranking up some of their high quality tuneage for your auditory enjoyment . . . .


. . . and Appalachian Peace Paws Rescue will be there with the new furry kid you didn't know you were missing.

Will be doing the Working With Land Wights class with some new peeps added to the crew. The class is part of an ongoing UPG info gathering project, and if even you've taken the class before, I'd love to have you pop back in and do some observations with a different anchor than whoever you picked last time. All data collected is anonymous unless you say otherwise.

See ya there!

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Philando Castile: One More Justice Fail

I wanna do a credibly informed, cited post on the clusterfuck of social problems tied up in the fact that not only did Philando Castile get murdered for complying with an "officer"'s orders, but a POS jury acquitted the bully cop. But I'm just stuck on "fuck you bastards".

Imma just leave it at "fuck you bastards that don't deserve to wear badges."

"Fuck you bastards that decided this was justice".

"Fuck you bastards that have been tossing off bullshit like how he or any other victim of police escalation asked for what they got".

"Fuck you bastards that have been making fun of Diamond Reynolds and his family for being angry and upset".

"Extra fuck you bastards to hell for visiting any and all this scumbaggery on a four year old kid".

"Fuck the NRA bastards for being the cheap sorry bitches they are".

That pfftt sound is me spitting on the lot of you. Fuck you for being one of the reasons I'm frequently embarrassed to admit I live here.

Fuck the fact that I can't tell Diamond Reynolds or her daughter or Philando's family, or anyone else who's buried a loved one after shit like this, a damn thing that will help any of that. I wish them all peace and safety. I wish all of us peace and safety. And fuck you bastards that have a problem with me even saying that.